How to Avoid Dating a Narcissist?

There are so many different types of men who will cross your path on the journey to finding Mr Right. Some women get it right and end up marrying Mr Wonderful who treats them like a queen and for other women, wht appeared to be Mr Womderful can turn into a complete nightmare.

So what’s the difference between Mr Wonderful and Mr Weirdo. Meeting the right partner, espceically if you are considering marriage is the most important decision you can make in your life, so you need to get it right.

A big mistake that alot of women are making, and that includes women who should know better is dating, is marrying a narcissist.

There are 4 major checks that you need to do before even thinking about getting serious with a man. These checks can be the difference between years of heaven or hell, so please, even if you are currently head over heals in love, please carry out these checks. The checks are split into primary red flags (these are signs that most women would not look for but are typical of someone who is a narcissts or has the traits), and the secondary red flags which are just as important and require a check if your partner failed any of the primary red flags.

Primary red flags:

  1. Is he self obsessed, does he say ‘I’ too much or talk about himself? Or even worse talk about himself in the 3rd person. Does he think he is special and superior?
  2. Does he have any empathy? Create a situation where you would expect him to have empathy or compassion for you and care about you. Pretend to twist your ankle, cut out finger, do something and watch his reaction.
  3. Does he have a tantrum or rage attack when you challenge something he says? Test it out, idealy in public. See if he is hypersentitive to criticism.
  4.  Does he let you pay for everything? There’s is so much online about spotting narcissists but very few people mention the fact that as well as sucking you dry emotionally, they suck you dry financially too. They watch to see if you pay for things to see how much you like them, and use that to guage how much they can take advantage of you. No matter how much you like, or love a man, initially he should pay, and sometimes you go ducth. If you pay all the time, you are setting yourself up for a man who won’t think he needs to take care of you. So even if you are the big earner, check to see if he is a loafer or a man who wants to take care of you.

Secondary red flags:

  1. Does he want to see you everyday or commit too quickly?
  2.  Is he controlling, does he get jealous when you want to spend time with your family and friends away from him?
  3. Deep down narcissist men are terrified of love or intimacy, but spotting that this is an issue early on in the love-bombing stage.  Check if the affection he gives you is genuine, from the heart. Anyone can hold your hand in public, but is he open to being vulnerable with you. This is where you need to put your female intuition to good use, how do you feel deep down without letting love get in the way.
  4. Narcissist men are often moody, they find it difficult to sustain peace and harmony in the relationship on a continuous basis and usually create issues to prevent hem from having to get too close and vulnerable. If your partner is continually creating disharmoney, this could be a sign.
  5. This is a difficult one to get your head around, but narcissists are as addicted to attention from people as drug addicts are to their next fix. As long as someone is prepared to listen to them talk about themselves, they will zoom in on them and forget that you exist. This is a major reason why alot of narcissist men cheat. They can’t help themselves, it’s their next fix.
  6. Does he have lots of friends? Most narcissist men don’t like to have many friends, especially male friends as they are less likely to be interested in listening to them talk about themselves all the time.

It is important to be aware of your feelings. Women in their 40’s and upwards are particularly succesptible to these men as they are charming and can love-bomb you and act out the role of the prince charming you have been searching for all your life. Don’t let love blind you, do the checks and set boundaries to see if he breaks them.